• What is The Chimpanzee?
The Chimpanzee is an esteemed humor publication based out of beautiful Los Angeles, California. Each issue is handcrafted by a core team of civic-minded altruists hopelessly bent on making YOU laugh (or at least giggle enough to shoot Yoo-hoo out of your nostrils).

• When, where, and why did it start?
The Chimpanzee's humble origins can be traced back to late 1993 at the fantastically boring campus of UC Irvine (sanctuary to many an unkempt, socially retarded biology major). It was here that a few noble pre-med students embarked on a quest to entertain and educate their fellow students using the printed word as their vehicle. The "educate" part of the plan sounded lame and was dropped immediately leaving just the "entertain" part. And entertain they did. The Chimpanzee quickly became synonymous with "humor" and "buck-wildness" at the crappy university and things were fun and exciting there for once. After college, upon the realization that no one on the staff really wanted to deal with sick and dying people for a living, this rag-tag bunch of battle-hardened do-gooders decided to super-size The Chimpanzee to bring its unique blend of humor and propaganda to the masses (meaning Los Angeles and anyone with internet access).

• Why did you choose to name your publication The Chimpanzee?
Because Martha Stewart Living was already taken.

• When and where is The Chimpanzee distributed?
The Chimpanzee comes out around the second Friday of every month at hand selected spots throughout Los Angeles and the surrounding area. If you know of a great spot that The Chimpanzee should be distributed at, email us about it at circulation@chimpmag.com. If you'd like to see us in a particular store, tell the owner/manager to carry us and we'll be there ASAP.

• How much does each issue cost?
The Chimpanzee is FREE for all people regardless of gender, creed, or degree of hygiene. So read up!

• Does some kind of evil corporation run and publish The Chimpanzee?
No. The Chimpanzee is independently published.

• Can I take and use any of the copyrighted content in The Chimpanzee publication or website without your expressed written permission?
Of course not, stupid.

• My mom says I'm funny. Can I submit material to The Chimpanzee?
Yes, but before you send or email us stuff, ask yourself the following: Is this really funny? Am I sure this is funny and not just because I'm drunk or retarded? If you answered "yes" to both questions, ask yourself: Is this just a big rant about political stuff that I know The Chimpanzee won't want? Is this an unfunny, poorly drawn cartoon that should honestly be flushed down a toilet? Am I the kind of schmuck that watches and laughs hysterically at Full House, The Tonight Show, Home Improvement, or anything on the UPN? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, save yourself from expending some needless energy and just keep telling jokes to your mom. Otherwise, send your funny material to us at submissions@chimpmag.com. Thanks!

• I want to advertise my business in The Chimpanzee. How do I do that?
Contact us and we'll take good care of you.

• How can I get free Chimpanzee stickers?
Go back to the Main Page and ask the goober at the bottom of the page for directions.

• Who is that goober guy on the main page?
What goober guy?

• How do you draw The Chimpanzee chimpanzee?
Click here and find out, Poindexter.

• If you isolate mitochondria and place them in buffer with a low pH they begin to manufacture ATP. Why?
Mitochondrial production of ATP requires a concentration gradient of H+, with a high concentration at the inter membrane space and a low concentration in the matrix. The inner membrane is impermeable to H+, but the outer membrane of the mitochondria will allow H+ to pass through. Thus, placing mitochondria in a low pH buffer produces a H+ gradient that can generate ATP through ATP synthetase.

• Will reading The Chimpanzee endow me with clearer skin, stronger fingernails, and fertile loins?
Yes, but only if you buy ten Chimp T-shirts. With your eleventh shirt you get eternal happiness and the meaning of life.

• Where can I download a life-sized Christopher Nance mask?
It's your lucky day. Click here!

• People say I look like Corky from Life Goes On. May I be of any use to you?
Email us at wazzup@chimpmag.com immediately.

• Is it true Rip Taylor once tried to sue The Chimpanzee?
You betcha. We'll have more info on this soon!

• If The Chimpanzee had to choose between Mr. Roper and Mr. Furley, who would it endorse?
This is like asking someone to choose between their mom and dad or the Junkyard Dog and Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka. An educated answer to this question will require weeks of intense observation, hypothesizing, experimentation, and analysis. So while we employ the scientific method to tackle this conundrum, please be patient and keep reading The Chimpanzee.